GUYS-what does time to yourself mean?
my bf emailed me and told me he needed some time to himself and that it was best that i stay away for awhile after we got into a fight last week (he did say nothing was my fault and that he loved me).
is this a bad thing? we′ve been dating for over 3 years now. both 29 (i have 3 little girls from previous marriage that he loves and treats as his own). we practically live together(i spend about 4 days a month at my apt) and we just recently started looking at houses to move into together b/c his is pretty small.
we haven’t talked in a week and he sent me the email on Wednesday!! I miss him so much.
he’s not cheating (i have a key to the house,his voicemail and email passwords b/c he’s asked me to check them for him before). he’s been mostly spending time hanging out with his friends at the rc car racing track and the rc plane field where he flies planes.
i know it’s normal to need space sometimes but what do guys do when they take this time after a fight?
thanks!!
You need to elaborate on the fight itself… it’s not a great sign though, suggests communication isn’t the best between you.
he means what his saying…he needs time to think, has something dramatic happened to him recently that it could be a build up?? just don’t nag or push him away he will come back when he is ready……patience girl!!
time is compared to”eyes” don’t wast your time
I’m no professional, but what I would take from it, is that he is questioning if he wants to be in this relationship. You got admit, it is a difficult situation for anyone..taking on a premade family. He is young and and may be doubting your future together. Sounds like he wants to experience the care free life he had before.There really is nothing you can do, but let him sort out his emotions, but I wouldnt let this drag on much longer….respect yourself and your children and not leave yourself desperatly waiting for his return.A week is along time, in this situation, may be time to give an ultimatum, I know I couldnt stand waiting. Just don’t push him in either direction, if its ment to be he will be back soon, if he doesnt come back soon, let him go. You don’t want to get married and then have him realize this is not what he wants or can handle.
here’s a potential positive - maybe he’s getting ready to pop the question but needs some time to see how the idea feels. maybe he needs to feel alone to reallly see how much the family he is creating with you means to him. that’s just an idea, don’t get your hopes up. i agree with the others in that, was the fight big? life changing? it does seem like he is on the edge of making some kind of decision. it could be the stress of looking for a house, maybe the reality dawned on him and he just needed to clear his head before taking on the huge responsibility?
do you fight a lot? is there anything else going on? it would be weird if you guys are getting along, everyone happy, looking for a house, and then boom, one fight and he wants to end a three year relationship, ya know? so unless there is more going on, prob just stress. does he want to look for another house? did you pressure him at all? was it his idea or yours? does he feel pressured to settle down so he’s going out more independently? or just gearing up for a big life change of new home, three little girls and a now live in gf?
a week is kind of a long time though, i might give it another half week and then at least send an email that says, everything still ok? just getting nervous - hope all is well - love…yada yada
good luck!
Gee - at 26 he became you bf and an instant dad to 3 little girls. Way too much for a young man to handle before he wants to snap. He’s tried the instant dad thing, but needs to be a normal guy since this seems to be a bit overwhelming for him. You need to make sure the girls spend time with ‘their’ father so the two of you can have normal couple time. He is seriously thinking if he make the right move 3 years ago taking on this role, he will either move forward with you or break it off. You have put way too much responsibility on the guy. It’s also not normal for someone who wants space to have someone checking his house, voicemail, email and know his every move, that why he has not called, you have not given him the space he asked for. Maybe he needed space because not only so you need help with the girls, but you are a needy person.
We process. We weigh up our miseries and our joys. We do this in many ways. Solitude is the most intense. Sometimes we just bury ourselves in distraction or drink with the boys. When we have arrived at a place where we are comfortable, we return to our nests wiser and rested